Your First Mental Coach Lives at Home

Your First Mental Coach Lives at Home

This morning I reflect upon a book that reminded me of something I often forget in the rush of life. The book was called Parenting Champions, and its core message hit me straight in the heart. It teaches that the first mental coach any kid ever has is their parent. Before any tournament, before any mentor, before any coach on the field or court or lane, it is the parent who shapes the foundation of a child’s mindset.

And that truth made me look inward again.

If I am going to parent a kid to be a champion, I have to remember that my attitude, my feedback, and my actions shape Bella’s mindset far more than any tournament she will ever bowl. I think back to when I was Bella’s first mental coach. Not her bowling coach. Her mental coach. The way I coached her on her attitude, the way I gave feedback, the way I modeled composure, it all shaped her identity inside. It shaped who she believes herself to be.

I helped Bella see who she is and not just what she does. Her identity is rooted under the surface, internal and unshaken. That is the identity that undercuts shame and fear. That is the identity that keeps her from collapsing under pressure when pressure comes.

She knows that failure in any arena is not who she is. Her identity is who she is beneath the surface. And everything I teach her is built on this truth. It is not about the outcomes. It is not about the results. It is about the process. It is about letting the work shape the character.

Winning is not just about the scoreboard. Winning is found in showing up, handling pressure, learning from challenge, and growing forward.

My job is not to model perfection. My job is to model consistency. Bella watches how I respond to stress. She watches how I respond to failure. She watches how I carry myself when life presses in on all sides. My composure and commitment to growth matter more than any flawless moment I could ever try to fake.

I am not just cheering from the sidelines. I am shaping how she shows up in every arena of her life.