Parent-Child Athlete Relationship

As I reflect today, my thoughts keep returning to the relationship between a parent and a child athlete.

I have watched it unfold countless times at sporting events. Tension and frustration quietly stack day after day. A parent just trying to help. A child just wanting to play for fun. Somewhere in between, division begins to grow.

What touches me most is realizing I did not see it in myself at first.

That changed when Bella Love looked me in the eyes and said,

Dad, I do not want you to coach me. I just want you to support me and encourage me.

She did not ask for correction.

She did not ask to be fixed.

She asked to be supported.

That moment stopped me.

I truly believed I was helping. I thought I was coaching. When she struggled, I thought stepping in would protect her from the emotional weight of competition. I thought I was rescuing her from pain.

What I did not realize was that by trying to save her from those emotions, I was also taking away her opportunity to build emotional strength.

Sometimes it was not even the words. It was the tone.

Sometimes it was my need to feel like I was doing my job as a parent.

If I am honest, sometimes it was my desire to be seen as a good parent if she succeeded.

I was parenting through control instead of parenting through presence.

I see now how many parents struggle with the same tension. We want to help. We want to guide. We want to protect. Without realizing it, the more we try to help, the more we can damage the relationship.

I do not have this figured out. I am still a work in progress.

What I do have now is awareness.

I am learning to stand in silence.

To smile.

To support.

To let Bella navigate her sport, her emotions, and her composure in her own way.

This is her journey and it is also mine.

After years of coaching, teaching, and parenting, I have learned this truth. I do not have all the answers. I do have value. I can add to that value by learning how to be a better support for my daughter.

If you are a parent of an athlete and you feel stuck, torn between helping and holding back, I see you. I have been there. Sometimes I am still there.

You are not alone.

When all you want is for your child to feel joy again, it can be defeating to realize that good intentions can sometimes contribute to the struggle.

So today, as I stand behind Bella while she bowls league, I am choosing awareness. I am choosing to pause. I am choosing encouragement instead of correction.

I am standing behind her with love and support.