Learning When to Pause

Learning When to Pause

As I reflect on today, I find myself thinking about intention. We often set out wanting to move in a certain direction, to have a meaningful conversation, to connect, to help. But conversations, like life, ebb and flow. They have their own rhythm. And sometimes the very act of trying to control the moment can create unnecessary tension or pain.

I am learning that just because I want to have a conversation does not mean it is the right time to have it.

That applies to family, friends, and especially to my child.

As a parent of an athlete, I am becoming more aware of how emotional energy moves before, during, and after performance. With Bella, I have learned that there is a sacred space after competition. A time where the best thing I can offer is presence, not analysis. Quiet, not correction. Breathing, not breakdowns of what went well and what needs to change.

The car ride home has taught me more than any coaching book ever could.

In high emotional moments, our instinct is often to grasp, to fix, to improve right now. But I am learning that growth does not require immediate processing. Sometimes emotions need room to run their course. Sometimes the most supportive thing a parent can do is simply allow space.

That awareness begins with me.

I have to manage myself before I can support Bella. That means recognizing when my desire to help is actually my desire to control the moment. It means reading the room. Reading the energy. And being honest about whether a conversation will build connection or create resistance.

Stepping back. Taking a pause. Observing without judgment.

When I do that, something shifts.

Tension softens. Communication opens naturally. Trust deepens.

Both Bella and I are growing, and that is a beautiful thing. But this is not a destination. It is a never ending journey. We are always learning, always adjusting, always evolving as parent and child. Each day offers new lessons if we are willing to be present with them.

My focus remains simple and steady.

How can I become a better dad?

Because when I grow in that way, I create the space for Bella to grow too. Not just as an athlete, but as a person. And that is a journey I am grateful to walk alongside her, one day at a time.