The Paradox of Control: Mastering the Inner Game

The Paradox of Control: Mastering the Inner Game

This morning at Erb Park, as the swimmers prepared to enter a still-glass pool and the birds sang over the trail, I found myself reflecting on a concept I’ve often coached around but felt deeply today—perceived control.

We often hear commentators say an athlete is “in control.” But in truth, they’re not any more in control than at any other moment in the game. What’s changed is their feeling of control—something we in performance psychology call perceived control. It’s the belief that you can influence an outcome, even when you technically can’t.

That belief changes everything.

In chaos, pressure, and noise, real power comes from knowing which levers are still yours to pull: your breathing, your routines, your self-talk, your attitude, your level of effort, and your gratitude. These inner practices shrink the world down to what matters—and allow you to expand from the inside out.

Here’s the paradox: the more we manage what we can control, the more we actually influence the outcome. That’s not ego. That’s confidence rooted in mastery of self.

So today I ask myself—and maybe you need to ask too:

What can I do to feel more in control today?

Start with your breath. Anchor to your values. Speak to yourself with courage. Show up in the smallest acts like they matter—because they do. Because you do.

And from there, trust opens.