From Past Regrets to Present Peace: Choosing Awareness Over Anxiety

From Past Regrets to Present Peace: Choosing Awareness Over Anxiety

Uncertainty has a way of creeping in when we least expect it. Sometimes it shows up as the quiet nagging voice of “what if,” and other times it arrives with the full weight of past mistakes pressing down on the present moment. When I reflect on uncertainty, I can’t help but notice how much of it is tied to what has already happened—decisions I’ve made, wrongs I’ve carried, problems I’ve created.

I was reminded in a recent conversation with someone I admire that vulnerability and transparency are powerful tools when we face anxiety. Being open about the anxieties we carry often means acknowledging that they stem from circumstances and choices in our past.

In my own baseball career, I felt this truth deeply. Decisions on the mound—what pitch to throw, which college to attend, or when to stop pursuing my baseball dream—were never simple. Each choice shaped the road ahead. And sometimes, those decisions planted seeds of future doubt: Did I choose correctly? Did I waste an opportunity? Am I making the best decision for myself?

That same dynamic is true today as I walk with my daughter, Bella Love, through her bowling journey. Each tournament, each ball selection, each moment on the lane carries its own weight. Her choices—what ball to throw, where to stand, even which college to commit to—bring with them both opportunity and anxiety. Wins and losses fade, but the questions linger: Am I doing the right thing? Am I prepared for what’s next?

The truth is this: anxiety often lives in the gap between past and future. It feeds on regret and “what if.” But as a mental performance coach, I know that mental toughness begins with awareness. It starts with recognizing that our focus is not where it needs to be. It begins with redirecting our attention back to the only place we can truly live—the present moment.

On the baseball mound or the bowling lane, discipline and self-control of thought matter. Focused awareness matters. The ability to detach from the weight of the past and the fear of the future is what brings peace. It is what allows an athlete—or any of us—to perform, to breathe, to choose freedom over fear.

And yet, even knowing this, the challenge remains. Letting go of the past takes practice. Releasing the future requires courage. But in the tension of that challenge, we find growth. Mental toughness is not about eliminating anxiety—it’s about meeting it with awareness, choosing the present moment again and again until peace replaces fear.